My wife is paralyzed, so I haven’t been inti:mate with her for four months. Out of deep frustration, I left her alone for ten days to go on a date with the younger sister of my colleague. And then… the unexpected happened.

was real and sharp and humiliating to admit. It was the loss of spontaneity, of ease, of the version of us that used to exist without effort. Every touch now seemed to carry a question behind it—does this hurt, is this okay, do you need help, should I move—and somewhere along the way tenderness began to feel like work, and I hated myself for noticing.continue reading …